This is basically what we did, but for a couple of especially difficult months we offered an unappetizing back-up meal of rolled up deli turkey and carrot sticks--neither of which they really cared for. The trick was finding something that was just barely tolerable as an alternative rather than something they actually liked. They got over that quickly.
As a parent of three young children, I think I can explain: the average American parent feels like they need to spend a lot o quality time with their kids. And hangry kids are not fun at all. If your kid refuses to eat dinner, they are miserable to be around. Feeding your kids food they don't like takes a dedication, a will to fight, and the ability to ignore the whiny mess tugging your trousers. I happen to enjoy victimizing my children in the name of healthy eating, so I relish the fight. Other parents prefer to save their energy for endless play sessions.
I don't think you're wrong in most cases but as the parent of a child who did decide to starve themselves into serious medical complications over several days instead of eating any of the meals cooked for the rest of the family because they were not plain bread or yogurt, it's not always this simple.
And by serious, I mean 'spent a week in the ICU' serious, and it was not because of any condition or issue we had any inkling of in advance.
I'm with you. As I wrote, that kind of scenario is outside of the mainstream of what this advice is supposed to cover. I'm very sorry that happened to you and yours.
I really really love this article. All except for that vicious, pointed slur against 'buttered noodles.' Seriously, this makes sense and it delivers that sense in a humorous and quirky way and it's why I like this writer.
This won't work on a lot of picky eaters, but it should be done anyway. I was a picky eater. Still am. Most people on my dad's side are and it's completely genetic -- if food smells and tastes to you as disgusting as rotting fish, you aren't going to eat it, no matter how hungry you are or what your parents do (and that's exactly what it's like for a picky eater).
I was made to sit at the table until I finished everything and that would sometimes take hours, in the dark, while the rest of the family was together having fun, and I still didn't eat it, I just slowly fed it to the dog or spit it into my pockets or napkin for later disposal. When my brother came along they decided to try the opposite tactic and let him eat whatever he wanted, and that didn't work either. He didn't expand what he wanted but just ate french fries and plain noodles and became extremely overweight.
Parents should not be short-order cooks and should just let the kid go hungry if they won't eat. First of all, there's usually SOMETHING on the table they can eat. Second, they're not going to starve. Despite what the commenter mentions below, that kind of thing is rare to the point of being hit by lightening, and most kids could stand to miss a few (or a lot) of meals. Almost no one is any danger of starving and they'll be fine. I remember when I was kid, we were all skinny, and it's amazing how puffy and soft most children are nowadays. Don't get me started on how parents feel like they must load up and bring snacks with them on every half hour excursion out the door, it's crazy.
Anyway, I went without dinner at least one night a week as a kid because I wouldn't eat what I was given. It wasn't a big deal. And it's probably unrelated, but I'm in my 40s and still have the same slim weight I did in high school, so maybe it was even good for me to learn that being hungry now and then isn't the end of the world.
Awful stuff. I'm sorry you had to endure that. That's not the way to do it. Parents do these weird power struggles that don't really have anything to do with teaching their kid how to enjoy and appreciate food.
Also, yes to the snacks. 100%. It's just ridiculous. "We're going to Home Depot to grab a screwdriver, did you pack enough Goldfish for Liam?" Haha people just relax, your kid doesn't need to be eating every nine minutes, it's awful.
That's exactly it. I did it with my kid, and every was gushing over how "un-picky" he was at age 8 or 9. Bonus benefit: if he eventually comes across something that he REALLY doesn't like and does not eat, just allow him that victory, it will "feel" fair and make it6 easier to continue serving other stuff.
This is basically what we did, but for a couple of especially difficult months we offered an unappetizing back-up meal of rolled up deli turkey and carrot sticks--neither of which they really cared for. The trick was finding something that was just barely tolerable as an alternative rather than something they actually liked. They got over that quickly.
Smart—if you're going to do it I'd suspect that's the way to do it.
As a parent of three young children, I think I can explain: the average American parent feels like they need to spend a lot o quality time with their kids. And hangry kids are not fun at all. If your kid refuses to eat dinner, they are miserable to be around. Feeding your kids food they don't like takes a dedication, a will to fight, and the ability to ignore the whiny mess tugging your trousers. I happen to enjoy victimizing my children in the name of healthy eating, so I relish the fight. Other parents prefer to save their energy for endless play sessions.
Lol! Godspeed and fight the good fight!
I don't think you're wrong in most cases but as the parent of a child who did decide to starve themselves into serious medical complications over several days instead of eating any of the meals cooked for the rest of the family because they were not plain bread or yogurt, it's not always this simple.
And by serious, I mean 'spent a week in the ICU' serious, and it was not because of any condition or issue we had any inkling of in advance.
I'm with you. As I wrote, that kind of scenario is outside of the mainstream of what this advice is supposed to cover. I'm very sorry that happened to you and yours.
I really really love this article. All except for that vicious, pointed slur against 'buttered noodles.' Seriously, this makes sense and it delivers that sense in a humorous and quirky way and it's why I like this writer.
A waste of both butter and noodles!
Noodles go with a mix of soy sauce, oyster sauce, a bit of sugar and white pepper and sesame oil. Obviously.
This won't work on a lot of picky eaters, but it should be done anyway. I was a picky eater. Still am. Most people on my dad's side are and it's completely genetic -- if food smells and tastes to you as disgusting as rotting fish, you aren't going to eat it, no matter how hungry you are or what your parents do (and that's exactly what it's like for a picky eater).
I was made to sit at the table until I finished everything and that would sometimes take hours, in the dark, while the rest of the family was together having fun, and I still didn't eat it, I just slowly fed it to the dog or spit it into my pockets or napkin for later disposal. When my brother came along they decided to try the opposite tactic and let him eat whatever he wanted, and that didn't work either. He didn't expand what he wanted but just ate french fries and plain noodles and became extremely overweight.
Parents should not be short-order cooks and should just let the kid go hungry if they won't eat. First of all, there's usually SOMETHING on the table they can eat. Second, they're not going to starve. Despite what the commenter mentions below, that kind of thing is rare to the point of being hit by lightening, and most kids could stand to miss a few (or a lot) of meals. Almost no one is any danger of starving and they'll be fine. I remember when I was kid, we were all skinny, and it's amazing how puffy and soft most children are nowadays. Don't get me started on how parents feel like they must load up and bring snacks with them on every half hour excursion out the door, it's crazy.
Anyway, I went without dinner at least one night a week as a kid because I wouldn't eat what I was given. It wasn't a big deal. And it's probably unrelated, but I'm in my 40s and still have the same slim weight I did in high school, so maybe it was even good for me to learn that being hungry now and then isn't the end of the world.
Awful stuff. I'm sorry you had to endure that. That's not the way to do it. Parents do these weird power struggles that don't really have anything to do with teaching their kid how to enjoy and appreciate food.
Also, yes to the snacks. 100%. It's just ridiculous. "We're going to Home Depot to grab a screwdriver, did you pack enough Goldfish for Liam?" Haha people just relax, your kid doesn't need to be eating every nine minutes, it's awful.
That's exactly it. I did it with my kid, and every was gushing over how "un-picky" he was at age 8 or 9. Bonus benefit: if he eventually comes across something that he REALLY doesn't like and does not eat, just allow him that victory, it will "feel" fair and make it6 easier to continue serving other stuff.