Please, Democrats, *please* run on the fetal-heartbeats-do-not-exist platform this November
It'll be a winner for sure!
I understand Democrats are feeling a bit desperate as the midterms loom and their fortunes keep looking grimmer and grimmer. That goes especially for Stacey Abrams, who appears poised to decisively lose her second Georgia gubernatorial campaign in November. And so in her desperation she is trying to shore up every possible Democratic demographic she can lay her hands on, starting with…whoever this is supposed to appeal to:
Now, one might be tempted to argue against Abrams’s bizarre claim here. For instance, you could cite the American Pregnancy Association, which affirms that fetal heartbeats can be detected as early as 5 1/2 weeks. So does England’s National Health Service. And the Mayo Clinic. Or, I mean, you know, we could go all day with this. Obviously Stacey Abrams’s conspiracy theory about fetal heartbeats is directly contradicted by authoritative, trustworthy scientists.
But, you know what, hell if I care. I think this is a winning issue for Democrats. I mean, they’re going to need to pull from every single disaffected Democratic voting bloc before November, including the bitter, lonely, childless men and women who aren’t thrilled about the direction in which the party is headed but for whom pro-abortion politics is one of the last great sources of emotional sustenance in their lives. Stacey Abrams needs those votes—in fact all Democrats need those votes these midterms. Many of them are in trouble and they know it.
So I say run with it. Shout it from the rooftops. Plaster it on every plywood bulwark in Atlanta, every billboard in Times Square, every cactus in La Paz County: YOUR BABY’S HEARTBEAT IS A LIE. THAT INEXPRESSABLE JOY YOU FELT AT YOUR SIX-WEEK ULTRASOUND WAS A LIE. YOU FOOLISHLY BELIEVED THEM WHEN THEY TOLD YOU IT WAS REAL.
My goodness, but that would play well! Abrams might get herself the votes of all three genderqueer poetry PhDs in Macon. Now, Democratic strategists might be tempted to give in to their doubts on this one: They might think, for instance, that such a deranged, conspiracy-laden, antiscientific message would galvanize both committed pro-lifers and non-crazy moderates into burying Stacey Abrams in a double-digit landslide.
I say: Democrats, don’t listen to them! If your campaign advisors tell you this, fire them! They don’t see what’s important in this race. And what’s important is this: You need to deliver Stacey’s message to everyone, everywhere, all the time. Especially those expectant mothers: They need to know more than anymore that those first precious, miraculous, musical, breathtaking beats they heard over the ultrasound at their first prenatal were nothing more than a system of control manufactured by men to enslave them.
Take it to the streets! Spread the word and watch those votes just roll in! See you in November!