Check Out This One Weird Hack For Keeping Your Kid Safe at School!

The “Parent’s Bill of Rights” feels like such a perfect piece of legislation for the Era of Internet Discourse, a needless piece of cultural slop that is meant to function mostly as a signifier of a thing rather than the thing it’s supposed to be. It will never pass the Senate, and it would never pass Joe Biden’s veto even if it did pass the Senate, and you could never get two-thirds of Congress to vote to override the veto. It was simply designed to fail—to provoke, like an angry Facebook post, and then fade away.

I’m not saying it doesn’t have good ideas, because technically it does: It forbids schools from hiding a student’s “transgender” identity from his parents, and it requires schools to provide parents with full curriculums and library reading lists upon demand, and it would mandate that schools inform parents if violent acts take place on campus, among numerous other useful provisions. These are all good proposals. Do you know why they’re necessary? Because so many schools have become sort of cesspools: Places where teachers will keep parents in the dark if their children want to castrate themselves or start taking poisonous cross-sex hormones, say, or places where the libraries are filled with graphic depictions of bizarre sexual acts, and the curriculums are filled with paranoid hyper-ideological progressive garbage, and where administrators will conveniently forget to mention that a kid got knifed in the hall bathroom that afternoon.